(I don't know about 'depressed', but definitely gloomy. Prehaps it's just the sun leaving. I was raised in Moscow, which was nowhere near as bad, but even so the seasonal shift got to me.)

Anyway, I still want to know something. Why would a Big Truth be worth it if you only got to learn it but not actually *act* on it, in any way? Is an instant of understanding really the same as *knowing*?