ext_25882: (Wilson Half My Life)
nightdog_barks ([identity profile] nightdog-barks.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] house_wilson_ghc2007-04-30 05:53 pm

Duck Duck Goose

TITLE: Duck Duck Goose
AUTHOR: [livejournal.com profile] nightdog_writes
PAIRING: House-Wilson, strong friendship.
RATING: PG-13
WARNINGS: While this is not a death!fic, it does deal with the aftermath of a catastrophic injury to a major character.
SPOILERS: No.
SUMMARY: When the words are gone, what's left?
DISCLAIMER: Don't own 'em. Never will. Also do not own any part of either of the poems quoted at the beginning and end of this fic, or of the book The Echo Maker, by Richard Powers (see Author Notes, below).
AUTHOR NOTES: This small story was strongly influenced by The Echo Maker, by the American novelist Richard Powers.
This fic underwent no fewer than four title changes; kudos and bushels of thanks to my unbelievably patient First Readers, who kept poking me to make the story give up its true name. The title is the name of a children's game; a variation on "tag," more details can be found here. Also, a short sequel to this story is here.
BETA: Silverjackal, who crossed off another entry on the master checklist.




Duck Duck Goose

For last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words await another voice.

-- from "Little Gidding," Four Quartets, by T.S. Eliot (1888 - 1965)



"Uhhhhhhh," Wilson whispered.

House glanced over at him. Wilson was watching the ducks as they waddled and bobbled about; even now they were heading in their direction, hoping for a handout. At least -- it appeared Wilson was watching the ducks. God knew what he was really looking at, if anything.

Wilson's left hand came up, his fingers waggling, grasping at something only he could see. "Uhhhhhh," he whispered again.

"It's okay, buddy," House said, and gently tucked Wilson's hand back under the blanket.

Wilson didn't resist, and House leaned back against the park bench. It was a perfect day, a cool breeze just giving way to the afternoon warmth. The waters of Lake Carnegie sparkled in the bright spring sunlight and the trails were host to scores of runners. A beautiful young woman jogged towards them, long, muscular legs moving in an easy gait, her athletic tank top wet with sweat. House whistled appreciatively, and she shot him an annoyed look as she passed in front of the bench. House leaned closer to Wilson's wheelchair.

"She wants me," he murmured. "I have to beat them off with a stick."

Wilson's eyes tracked the runner. "Stick," he said clearly. "Hick tick nick stick."

House nodded. Sometimes Wilson came out with strings of rhyming words like this. No one was sure if he was simply mimicking what people said around him or if his injured brain was trying to reconnect the synapses blown apart by the gunman's bullet.

"Stick," House agreed. "Wanna feed the ducks?"

Wilson didn't answer; he was blinking rapidly and trying to shift in his chair. It was difficult with his useless legs, so he usually resorted to rocking his upper body from side to side as if engaged in some terribly awkward, clumsy dance.

"Chill, dude," House muttered. He leaned forward, his tone low and conspiratorial. "Everybody's gonna think you're playing the hand organ underneath that blanket. You want to get us arrested for public indecency?"

Wilson stopped rocking and stared at him. His eyes were bright, and House held his gaze. Sometimes Wilson was in there, House was sure of it, looking back out at him with a rueful incomprehension at the situation he found himself in.

"Pubic indecency," Wilson announced. House snorted.

"See, now you can get away with that kind of stuff," he declared. "I don't know if you're making a really bad pun or if you've lost the letter 'L'".

Wilson hummed to himself. "Me," he said softly. "You."

House looked at him, but Wilson seemed disinclined to say anything else. House sighed and took the croissant he'd stolen from the hospital cafeteria out of his jacket pocket. Unfolding the napkin he had wrapped it in, he began to tear off small bits of the fluffy pastry, tossing them as far as the nearly weightless pieces would go as Wilson watched with rapt attention. The ducks fluttered and quacked as they snapped up the food.

A shadow fell over the bench, and both men looked up.

"Chase," Wilson crowed. "Rob-ert Chase."

Chase grinned down at the man in the wheelchair. "That's right, Dr. Wilson," he said. He took a seat next to House on the cool wooden slats. "House. Cuddy wants to see you."

"She always wants to see me, preferably naked," House grumbled. "Wait -- or is it the other way round?" Wilson's left hand had crept out from under the blanket again. House tucked a piece of bread into the palm and curled Wilson's fingers around it.

Chase ignored the bait. "She said you need to start doing your clinic hours again." House shook his head.

"Not until they get the metal detectors up in that shooting gallery," he said grimly. "And not until those useless rent-a-cops start searching every sorry son-of-a-bitch who comes through the doors looking for drugs."

Chase sighed. "It's in the budget for next quarter --"

"Next quarter doesn't do Wilson any good. Next quarter doesn't even begin to cover --" House's head jerked around at the sound of a low, keening wail.

Wilson was rocking again, making little whimpering noises. The piece of croissant had fallen to the ground and two of the ducks were fighting over it.

"Ahhhhhh," Wilson said. "Ahhhhhhh." His eyes had filled with tears.

Chase had quickly risen from his seat and was shooing the voracious waterfowl away.

"It's okay, Dr. Wilson," he soothed. "Shhhh, it's okay."

House took a deep breath and tapped the end of his cane on one of the wheelchair's footrests. Attention successfully diverted, Wilson looked at him.

"Don't cry, you moron," House said roughly.

Wilson hiccuped and snuffled.

"Can't take you anywhere," House growled as he handed the remains of the croissant to Chase and fumbled in his pocket for a handkerchief. He pulled out the square of soft white cotton and held it to Wilson's face. "Blow," he commanded.

Wilson blew; it was a long, honking snark and House made a show of shaking out the cloth after he'd wiped Wilson's nose. "Fucking snot factory," he said fondly.

Wilson ignored him. His attention was fixed hungrily on the croissant half in Chase's hand.

"It's almost lunch time," House said. "Want some bread?"

"Red," Wilson chanted softly. "Bed, wed, fed, sped." The words reeled out, unspooling like a diction lesson on a foreign language tape. House nodded at Chase, who tore off a small piece and held it out.

"Open up," he said.

Wilson sighed happily and opened his mouth, tilting his head back like a baby bird. Chase placed the bread on Wilson's tongue.

"Ah," Wilson said, closing his mouth and chewing. "Mmmmpphghhdhgh."

"Don't talk with your mouth full," House warned. "You'd feel pretty stupid if you choked to death on a piece of bread now."

They watched for a moment as Wilson swallowed; the patch of skin where the trach tube had gone in was smooth and shiny. For a while the only sounds were those of the quacking ducks, the calls of songbirds, the dull ambient hum of outdoor noise.

"Come on," House said at last. "Time to go in. We'll do this again tomorrow -- okay, champ?"

Wilson's left hand drifted up. He rubbed at his nose.

"'kay, champ," he echoed.

"Parrot," House grumped. "Chase, you drive. I can't do all the work around here."

"Carrot," Wilson said suddenly. "Carrot, ferret, parrot, bird."

House's lips quirked up. A small connection. A tiny connection, but a connection nonetheless.

Maybe later another connection would come, and tomorrow another spark.

And the day after that, and all the days following.

He could always hope. A person had to have hope.


~ fin


Failing to fetch me at first keep encouraged,
Missing me one place search another,
I stop somewhere waiting for you.

-- from Song of Myself, Walt Whitman (1819 - 1892)



NOTES:

The full text of Four Quartets may be found here.

The full text of Song of Myself may be found here.

[identity profile] starlingthefool.livejournal.com 2007-04-30 11:00 pm (UTC)(link)
Wah!
That was lovely, if heartbreaking.

[identity profile] style-30.livejournal.com 2007-04-30 11:03 pm (UTC)(link)
I thought that this was going to be dark, but it's really not. It's certainly sad, but there's an optimism to it. I think you characterized House well as angry but accepting of the situation. House relates well to Wilson. It's the way I can see it happening. I liked this.

[identity profile] petrichor-fizz.livejournal.com 2007-04-30 11:04 pm (UTC)(link)
That was one of the most powerful things I've read in a long time. It was incredibly painful to read, but it definitely paid off.

Wow.

(Anonymous) 2007-04-30 11:11 pm (UTC)(link)
That was heartbreaking. I almost cried and I never almost cry. Write more? Before/aftermath? Please?

[identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/_dragoonqueen/ 2007-04-30 11:12 pm (UTC)(link)
your writing never fails to astound me. i think you write it perfect in that House doesn't treat him much differently. fscking brilliant aayyee?
(deleted comment)

[identity profile] nakannalee.livejournal.com 2007-04-30 11:17 pm (UTC)(link)
I agree with what others said: this was sad, but not entirely heartbreaking since promise showed through a bit at the end. House refusing clinic duty after Wilson was shot there was a wonderfully included detail that hit me hard. And I liked how House wasn't sappy with Wilson; he was still obnoxious and abrasive at times.

Sad but lovely. Thanks for this.

[identity profile] nakannalee.livejournal.com 2007-04-30 11:22 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, and also: You quoted from my favorite group of poems by Eliot (although "Burnt Norton" is my preference); and then used excerpts of Leaves of Grass from *heart-flutter* Whitman. (I just borrowed "Only the lull I like, the hum of your valvèd voice" from Song of Myself as well.)

I'm a sucker for literary allusions. Nice to see them, especially when they fit well like these do. :)

[identity profile] elva-barr.livejournal.com 2007-04-30 11:26 pm (UTC)(link)
Very accepting, and very House. I like that he doesn't change, but does change, his attitude whenever Chase enters the scene.

[identity profile] annalully.livejournal.com 2007-04-30 11:38 pm (UTC)(link)
A bittersweet little story. Very moving and tender, but not sappy. I loved it as I always love whatever you write. And have a very Happy Birthday ;-)

[identity profile] morganmac.livejournal.com 2007-04-30 11:39 pm (UTC)(link)
The awesomeness is too much; I can't take it.


Do you ever write with your own characters? Sometimes I think you could give Alice Munro a run for her money.


Cheers!

[identity profile] paraoptomistic.livejournal.com 2007-05-01 12:27 am (UTC)(link)
Like Hobbits do, on your birthday, you give us the gift. Wonderful as always.

(Anonymous) 2007-05-01 12:35 am (UTC)(link)
I read it again and cried. It's so sad, so perfect. The ounce of hope makes it even sadder. I know it's beautiful as a one shot--absolutely beautiful, beyond beautiful--but I'm addicted to this.

[identity profile] shadowstark.livejournal.com 2007-05-01 12:49 am (UTC)(link)
*sniffle* I wish I had something to add that all these people before me hadn't already said.

[identity profile] mer-duff.livejournal.com 2007-05-01 12:59 am (UTC)(link)
So sad, and yet not. I have a friend who suffered a devastating head injury - his short-term memory was completely wiped and he couldn't retain new memories for the longest time, but he could reel off player stats from every team in the NHL in the mid-70s. But he's made an amazing recovery, so there always is hope.

Tons of wonderful details - especially the bird motif. And I loved how House the caretaker was still so House.

Beautifully written, as always. Thank you!

[identity profile] poeia.livejournal.com 2007-05-01 01:01 am (UTC)(link)
Ah, why did you have to make me cry?

This was lovely. And it's exactly how I think House would treat Wilson under the circumstances.

[identity profile] xlizabeth-x.livejournal.com 2007-05-01 01:03 am (UTC)(link)
I wish I could add a comment, but everything running through my mind has already been stated.

This was an amazing story. I think this is the first story of yours I've ever read, and I'm amazed. Honestly, I can't even come up with anything worth while to say . . . heh.

Just wow.
Wow.

Love,
Liz.

[identity profile] naughtybookworm.livejournal.com 2007-05-01 01:06 am (UTC)(link)
That was so sad that I wish I could un-read it...

Well written, mind you, but still... I can't bear it.

nbkwrm

[identity profile] xphile101.livejournal.com 2007-05-01 01:17 am (UTC)(link)
This is fantastic. I love that House is still gruff with him even though he's not really himself anymore. (And it's also nice that it's someone other than House who's been injured this time.) Would love to see more in this same verse. *g*

[identity profile] sierrabounce.livejournal.com 2007-05-01 01:25 am (UTC)(link)
Just joining the chorus; a subtle, beautifully crafted piece

[identity profile] pwcorgigirl.livejournal.com 2007-05-01 01:34 am (UTC)(link)
Ah, I do like the new title, and just when I thought the last one was perfect. The story does know what it wants! :)

I love the little interchange with Chase, who attempts to soothe Wilson, and House, who quiets him in a typically House-ian way.

And the poems are just perfect. I'm so glad you kept them.

[identity profile] evila-elf.livejournal.com 2007-05-01 02:14 am (UTC)(link)
*blows nose* I have a cold. Really!

Love how House tries to act as normally as possible.
Are there any plans to write more? It just seems unfinished to me ;)

[identity profile] triedunture.livejournal.com 2007-05-01 02:56 am (UTC)(link)
Oh nooooo. This was so good, and now I am so sad. For such a short piece, I am amazed at the amount of bird imagery you got in. Great, great work.

[identity profile] willywonka3435.livejournal.com 2007-05-01 03:20 am (UTC)(link)
Gosh that was sad. Beautiful, though. A real tearjerker.

Happy Birthday, by the way. ^^

[identity profile] naranga.livejournal.com 2007-05-01 04:06 am (UTC)(link)
I absolutely loved this.

[identity profile] haldane.livejournal.com 2007-05-01 04:07 am (UTC)(link)
This makes me wish I could give you something better than I did - although perhaps smut is my natural medium?

My mother had a stroke twelve years ago. She came back about half way, but it's not her anymore.

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