Consequences - House/Wilson Fanfiction

[yesterday-girl.livejournal.com]

Title: Consequences
Author: Yesterday_Girl
Summary: Wilson argued with House before leaving on holiday somewhere in the mountains. He's very upset and is driving, not paying much attention. The car slips on ice and crashes/falls from a cliff. Written for prompt in Round 7 of the sickwilson_fest!
Pairing: House/Wilson - Established Relationship 

Rating/Warnings: Hints of NC-17 but mainly PG-13.  Angst!  
Words: 5226
Summary: Disclaimer: The show and characters are not mine. I am simply borrowing them!
Author Note:  Thank you to 1lostonefor putting up with my constant doubts when writing the fic and for being my personal enabler for all things House/Wilson. This is my first ever House fan-fiction so please be gentle and first fanfiction in years.

We rarely allow ourselves the time to think about the consequences of our actions.  We react in the heat of the moment, we lash out in anger, we hurt the ones we love.  Usually it doesn’t matter because we can forgive and forget.  We get to say sorry.  But how would we feel if we could not say those words.  What if our time with that person ended with those hateful words instead of ‘I’m sorry’, ‘I love you’ ‘Please Forgive me’, ‘I cannot live without you in my life.’  Our actions do have consequences and sometimes sorry cannot undo the past, it cannot right the wrong, you cannot take it back.  What happened, happened….

10pm Christmas Eve

For the first time in his life House felt true fear.  The idea that his one and only friend, his lover, his soul mate could die he just could not accept.  It was his fault.  He was not just thinking that, he knew it for a fact.  Another first in his life – he accepted that he truly was a heartless bastard who never deserved Wilson in his life to begin with. 

He looked up as the doors to the ER burst open and the hospital gurney carrying Wilson’s unmoving body was pushed quickly into the resuscitation room.  The paramedic from the scene was reeling of medical information but House’s mind could not focus on the details….Wilson’s skin was pale like he had never seen before except for where red streaks of his own blood covered it.  He was no longer breathing.  He looked like a corpse yet only this morning he was animated, alive and happy.  At least he was, until House had ruined everything.  In but a few minutes House had managed to change all that.  His actions had caused Wilson to end up this way.  He watched as the Cuddy took charge with his Ducklings and tried to resuscitate him.

4pm Christmas Eve

House growled as someone tapped him on the shoulder.

“I’m trying to get some sleep.  Internet porn takes it out of a guy you know!  Someone better be dead!” House muttered as the tapping on his shoulder became more persistent.

“House our patient is deteriorating.  She has not responded to the meds we gave her,” Chase informed him.

“So?”

“You don’t care?”

“Does that surprise anyone here?” House replied looking around at his ducklings.  “I told you that your idea was stupid and it would likely cause her to worsen but you went ahead anyway by going behind my back to Cuddy to get her permission.  You want me to hold your hand now?  Want me to give you a pat on the back and say its okay? Don’t worry?  It wasn’t your fault? Because it was your fault! It isn’t okay and you should be worried.”

Chase looked at him like a wounded animal. 

“House,” a familiar voice from behind Chase called out.  “Why exactly are you acting the ass in my room?  Has your office burnt down and I have failed to notice?” House sat up from the couch and followed Wilson’s movements as he entered his room. 

“I was trying to hide away from my incompetent idiotic team but as usual they never cease to disappoint me.  I had hoped the obvious would be too obvious for them and they would look elsewhere for me.”

Wilson simply smiled with affection at his grumpy lover.  House was not the happiest person in the world to begin with but a tired recently woken House was even worse!  Sex was about the only thing that eased that grumpiness quickly.  He remembered the first time he had woken House up by giving him a blowjob; he was suddenly a quite agreeable person.  Apparently the feel of Wilson’s hot wet warm mouth wrapped around his cock was a mood enhancer for House.  That was probably not an option to try right now though given the Ducklings presence.

“Well, whilst you have been sleeping the day away and raking your team over the hot coals for their supposed failings yet again, I went home, collected and packed our bags into the car.  I just need to hand my case files over to Dr Nighwood and I will be ready to go.  How long will you be?”

“Ready to go where? I am not going anywhere!” House retorted.

“House stop kidding around and get ready.”

“I’m not kidding.  I told you before I am not going away for Christmas.  I never intended to.”

“You promised House.  You said you would spend Christmas away in the log cabin in the mountains.”

“That doesn’t sound like me does it?” he said looking around at the others for confirmation.

The others had the good sense to not become embroiled in the lovers quarrel.  They were used to the pairs constant bickering.

Wilson rubbed his hand over his face and took a deep breath.  He should have known that it would not go smoothly.  House had been too obliging, too ready to agree.  He had just hoped that this once House would do something for his benefit.

“We agreed months ago to do this House!  You know how stressed we have both been and when we talked about it you said yes.”

“No.  You agreed and I lied to you to keep you from hassling me about it further.”

“You lied to me?”

“Yes.  Everyone lies remember – especially me if it gets me what I want!”

“Ahem…” A voice interrupted the lovers tiff, “Our patient?  She is going to be dead in a matter of hours unless we do something?” Chase reminded him.

“Show of hands:  Who thinks that I forgot this fact?”  House replied looking over at Chase, his voice dripping with sarcasm.  “Chase you do another MRI scan.  Cameron head back to the house and rip up every floorboard if you have too but find something that the patient is hiding.  Foreman – you go with Chase and see that he doesn’t screw up again.  I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

They hurriedly exited the room, looking grateful to have an excuse to be anywhere but there. 

House turned his attention back to Wilson and stood up quickly, leaning heavily on his cane as his damaged leg protested at the sudden movement and weight on it.  Instinctively he reached into his pocket and withdrew the orange plastic bottle of pills and tipped four Vicodin into his palm without a second thought. 

He missed the look of disapproval on Wilson’s face.  Wilson knew it was pointless anyway to argue with House about his use of Vicodin.  He would always be an addict and he accepted his own role in House’s addiction, he was House’s enabler.  The look of pure unadulterated bliss upon House’s face as the pills slid down his throat was obscene.  It was the same look he had when he reached orgasm.  Though the pills would not take effect for a while, just the knowledge that they were in his body gave House instant relief. 

Wilson realised House had begun talking to him again but he had not heard a word. House hit him in the leg with his cane to get his attention.

“Paging Dr Wilson!  I know my soft dulcet tones are hard to resist but I am trying to argue with you and it goes much easier when the other person argues back!”

Wilson looked at the man in front of him.  He loved this man more than anyone else in the world.  Always had and always would.  He loved what many others hated about him.  He took the good, the bad and the ugly.  But he was tired.  Oh so tired of it.  You can love someone so completely yet at the same time have had enough.

 “I don’t want to argue anymore.” He sighed wearily. “Please House.  Do this for me.  Do this for us.  I want to spend Christmas with you.  I want us to go away by ourselves just this once, a real holiday.  No working, no ulterior motive, just you and me together alone.  I want to be able to do nothing.  I want to read a book curled up in blankets with you by my side.  I want to lie naked on the floor in front of the blazing hot fire, basking in the afterglow of making love with you.  I want to listen to you playing the piano and singing jazz music whilst I cook us dinner.  I …..I want….I want us to do something normal!” Wilson pleaded.

House knew what it took for Wilson to open up as much as he just did.  Wilson knew he had just opened himself up to be mocked.  House didn’t do emotions.  House knew he should be willing to give Wilson what he asked for but he just could not help himself.  Emotions scared him.  Wilson knew him inside and out and even after all this time he didn’t dare let himself be truly happy with him.  Because if he did and it got taken away?  Then that he could not bear.  So instead what he did best.  Lash out.

“Normal?  Christ Wilson. You sound like something out of a Victorian romance novel with a bit of extra sex thrown in for good measure!  What are you – my knight in shining armour come to sweep me of my feet?  I knew you could be soft but seriously this is a new level of misguided drivel!  Happily ever after does not exist Wilson!  You think you can make me into someone I am not?”

“I thought that you would be yourself: Cold, uncaring, manipulative, an ass.  But I had hoped for something more too.”

“Please stop sucking up to me – you are making me blush!” House joked.

“Is it really just all a joke to you House?  You won’t do it?  You won’t give me this one thing?  Even after everything I have done for you?”

“I can’t believe that would shock you.”

“I wish it did but it doesn’t.  House…..Greg…please…” Wilson begged.

“So, when I said no…..what word didn’t you understand Wilson? Do I have to spell it out for you?  ‘N’ ‘O’ spells no!”

“….Greg…if I leave now ….I’m not coming back to you.  I can’t keep doing this.  I love you, but I can’t carry on.  Is there anything I can say or do to change your mind?  Please….come with me?   This could be our gift to one another.”

Wilson held his breath as he waited for House’s response. 

House felt regret even as the hateful words were still spewing from his mouth.  His chest tightened and his stomach lurched as he saw the effect of the words on his lovers face.  But still he carried on regardless.

“Sometimes the best gift is the gift of never having to listen to your trite smug sickening sweet words.” 

Wilson closed his eyes.  It was over; he had lost his best friend and lover. 

House watched as Wilson tried to maintain his composure.  Wilson looked back up at House; his eyes glinting with unshed tears, with such utter sadness that House had to look away in shame. 

Wilson moved towards House.  House tensed, expecting to be punched but instead he felt his lovers hand caress his face once before placing a gentle kiss upon his cheek and walking away, leaving House still standing in Wilson’s office, all alone.  House slid to the floor knowing that he had screwed up, knowing that he had just destroyed the one good thing in his life.

8.09pm Christmas Eve

The mountains glistened bright white with snow, and the moon and stars shone down from above casting a magical appearance to the landscape.  If he had not been so angry, so upset Wilson might have taken a moment to stop and appreciate the beauty of it all.  But instead he was driving along crying as the radio blared out the usual Christmas songs which would normally instil one with happiness and warmth but in Wilson’s case only served as a painful reminder of what he had just lost.  He wondered how people ever survived Christmas.  If all was right in your life then yes is must be a time full of festive cheer but to those who had lost loved ones, who were alone, who lives were not full of joy, then it must be a depressing time of year.

Wilson brushed the tears away.  The more he tried to stop thinking about House the more he entered his mind.  Had he really asked too much?  Should he have just given in to House again?  No! No he had made the right choice, but that did not lessen the pain of losing him.  Their relationship….twisted, warped…whatever you wanted to call it was still important, it was all he had held dear.  As Bon Jovi’s ‘Always’ played on the radio he found himself even more distracted by thoughts of House.  As the car drove along the windy icy winding road the snow continued to fall faster and more furious. 

There were still so many things left unsaid.  He wanted to give House one more chance even though he knew House would never accept it now.  Wilson pressed the hands free button for the phone and dialled House.

Meanwhile back at the hospital House was in a foul temper.  No one was safe.  He had managed to reduce a nurse to tears, had 2 formal complaints lodged against him and his team were no longer speaking to him all in the space of about 2 hours.  Even Cuddy had not risked trying to reason and calm him down, she knew that in the mood he was in anything they did would only make it worse.  He must have popped about 6 Vicodin as well, uncaring of the risks, only hoping that he could block the emotional pain he felt alongside the physical. 

When he heard Dancing Queen by Abba blare out from his trouser pocket he knew Wilson was ringing him.  For a second he allowed himself to smile, he did not answer the phone.  Let him wait a while.

A moment later, he heard the phone beep indicating that he had a new voicemail.  He dialled it to hear Wilson’s message purely out of curiosity of course, not a desperate need to hear his lovers voice and message. 

“House….House I just wanted to tell you I am sorry.”  House won the bet he had made with himself earlier.  He knew it would take Wilson only a few hours before he apologised.  He really was predictable.

“I am sorry….because I know I have hurt you.  I’m sorry that I left you, reinforcing every worry you ever had about opening up to someone.  But you need to know that you forced my hand in this.  But do you know what breaks my heart more than anything?  It is that you did not consider our relationship worth fighting for…..I wasn’t worth even just one small concession on your part,” Wilson’s voice trembled with emotion. 

House felt pathetic and weak and small for allowing himself to hurt his lover so much.  Wilson was right.  He had forced his hand.  House had broken not only his own but Wilson’s heart too.  Wilson was wrong.  House did think he was worth one concession.  He was worth a million but House’s stubbornness had prevented him from letting Wilson know that.  House was the one not worth anything.  Wilson deserved oh so much more. 

He needed to let Wilson know.  He needed to try to make it right.  He doubted Wilson would let him and why in the hell should he House thought to himself.  I use, manipulate, coerce and hurt the very man who loves me the most – why should he ever have anything to do with me again?

House was about to stop listening to the message and call Wilson back when something stopped him.

“Greg…..I love you.  Please…please take c……”Wilson’s voice cut of abruptly and was replaced by an altogether different tone. “Oh God!” Wilson cried out.

House sat up straight at the panicked voice of his lover, something was terribly wrong. 

“No……I …….Nooo!!!!”  Wilson screamed.  This was followed by the terrifying sound of a crash, the sound of metal crumpling…….it was then the message just ended.

House was frozen to the spot.  It was a trick.  Wilson had to be playing a trick on him.  A nasty horrible trick but one he deserved none the less. 

House instantly dialled Wilson’s number back but there was no answer.  House was up and out of his office faster than he had moved in years, his cane long forgotten, any pain in his mangled leg not acknowledged.  He had to get hold of Wilson and he had to know he was okay and this was all just a trick.

He kept hitting the redial button.  He had just barged into Cuddy’s office unannounced as usual when finally the phone call was answered. 

“Wilson? Wilson are you there?  God dammit answer me!  Wilson if this is a trick you better answer me now or god help you I will hunt you down and kill you myself!  This isn’t funny.”  House was pacing as Cuddy made her away around the desk towards him, confusion etched on her face as she tried to work out what was going on.

“House..” Cuddy began.

“Shut up!  I’m trying to listen!”

House listened carefully and could hear two things.  The sound of ragged breathing and then a barely there but just about audible voice that whispered one desperate chilling word before the call abruptly ended again.  Help!

The floor underneath House seemed to give way, why else would he have ended up on the floor in a heap?

“House….what is it…”  Cuddy gently asked. 

House looked up at her with a look of complete hopelessness and despair.

“Call the police.  Wilson…he’s hurt.  He was driving to our cabin in the mountains and he was leaving me a message on my phone when I heard ….I think he crashed.  Christ…Cuddy he is out there all alone and he may be badly hurt!”

Cuddy leapt into action.  She called the police, informed them of the situation and explained that an ambulance would most likely be needed too.  She gave them Wilson’s mobile number, hoping that they would be able to track him down, triangulate his position with it.  If Wilson was badly hurt and he was stuck out in that weather for too long he would most likely die before he got the help he needed. 

9.03pm Christmas Eve

The waiting was unbearable.  He kept replaying the voice message over and over again.  Torturing himself with it.  He wanted to take it back.  All of it.  But he couldn’t. 

Chase had sat beside him and given him a hug, Foreman simply said I’m sorry and Cameron had told him not to blame himself.  The very things he had mocked them about mere hours before.  Those small gestures of genuine comfort despite what he had said and done to them in the past, had been too much too bear. 

House, the magnificent jerk, bastard extraordinaire, had begun to cry. Cuddy ushered the ducklings out, allowing him at least the pretence of maintaining some of his pride.

“Cuddy…What if I never get to tell him I’m sorry?” he whispered.

She had no answer, so she simply wrapped an arm around him and let him lean against her as more tears tumbled down his face.

9.30pm Christmas Eve

“They found him House.  He is being airlifted to Princeton Plainsboro now.  They will arrive within 20 minutes.”

“How is he?” House asked.

“He…he’s in a bad way House.  He has multiple injuries.  It seems that the car slipped on the icy road and he spun out of control ending up with the car crashing through the barrier and tumbling down the cliff.  Luckily a tree stopped the car from going all the way down the cliff.”

“And?” House asked, wanting to hear the unspoken.

“And they are having trouble stabilising him.  His injuries are life threatening.  They are worried the cervical spine may be injured but they need to X-ray the spine to be sure.  His left arm and right leg are broken.  He has fractures of the first second and fourth ribs.  They…. they suspect he has an aortic rupture.  He has a weak leg pulse with hypertension in the arms.  I am sure they are just being over cautious,” Cuddy said, sounding even to her own ears, unconvincing.

“Cuddy, you know as well as I do that 90% of patients with an aortic rupture will die within minutes and of those that make it to the hospital, another 90% will die.”

“I know House.  But this is Wilson.  He always bounces back.  He can be as stubborn as you at times – he had you as his teacher after all!”  Cuddy said trying to be encouraging.

“Yeah and we know how fabulously well that went.” House replied.

3.49am Christmas Day

20 minutes.  It had taken them 20 minutes to resuscitate Wilson.  Just when they were on the brink of giving up the monitor showed a heartbeat again.  The collective cheer and relief in the room was palpable.  House though, he felt nothing.  He felt numb inside.  He had no more tears to shed right now. 

Once Wilson had been stabilised, they had rushed him into surgery.  They had spent the next few hours waiting to see how the surgery had gone.  They took turns in pacing, in checking for updates, in comforting one another.  When they finally saw the surgeon come towards them, they rushed over to him.

“Dr Wilson’s surgery went about as well as could be expected.  We almost lost him in the middle of the operation but he seems to be determined to stay with us.  We were able to surgically repair the aorta.  His spine is showing no sign of injury.  The other injuries are not life threatening.  He will remain in ICU for the next 24 hours under observation.  As long as there are no further complications then I see no reason for him to not make a full recovery given time to heal.  He is one lucky man!” Dr Wheylin informed them.

“Thanks you Dr Wheylin!” Cuddy happily replied.  She looked over to see House not rejoicing as the others where but standing there with his eyes closed.  She went over to him and pulled him to her.  She whispered into his ear.  “House.  He is going to be okay.  Now go be with him.”

“Thank you!” He whispered in return before limping his way to the ICU.

When he entered Wilson’s room he could not help but stop and stare.  He had machines surrounding his bed, lines attached to various parts of his body; he had dressings on his wounds, casts on his leg and arm.  But that was not what made him pause.  It was seeing his chest rise and fall.  He was alive.  He was breathing. 

He moved to the edge of the bed and leaned over to place a chaste kiss on top of his forehead. He whispered the words he had longed to say “I’m sorry. I love you Wilson.  Please forgive me.”  He took Wilson’s hands into his own and settled in the chair beside the bed to watch over him. 

Christmas Day

 “Wilson.  Please wake up.  You need to wake up now.” House pleaded.

Cuddy coughed from the entrance to the room.

“You know Dr Wheylin said it would probably be tomorrow before he will regain consciousness.  His body has a lot of healing to do.”

“I know.  I just…I just want to hear his voice.”

“You will, soon.  Good night House.”

“Night Cuddy.”

Boxing Day

House re-entered the room to find someone else had replaced him at Wilson’s bedside.  It was Wilson’s mum. 

“Hello House,” she greeted him with a smile. He looked at her in disbelief.

“Why are you smiling?  Why are you even speaking to me?  I almost kill your son, I hurt him at every possible turn and yet you are still being civil to me?” House asked her incredulously as she continued to smile at him.

“Of course I am.  You are my son’s partner, he loves you and you make him happy – well most of the time anyway.”

“It’s no wonder he always sees the good in people.  He gets it from you,” House replied softly.

Before she had time to reply Wilson began to stir.  They rushed over to him. 

Wilson’s mum leant over and gently stroked his head.  “ James.  Sweetheart.  Can you hear me?”

“I…..mum?” he croaked out in confusion.

“Yes sweetheart, its mum.  You were in an accident.  Do you remember?  You are in Princeton Plainsboro and you are going to be fine.  You need lots of rest but you will be fine sweetheart.”

She placed the straw in the glass of water to his lips so he could take a sip.  The cool water felt good as it soothed his raw throat. 

“Mum.  How long have I been unconscious?”

“A few days.  Let me fetch the water and meanwhile you can….” As she turned around to motion House close, she found the room to be empty. He had left.  She gave James another kiss before going to fetch the doctor to check him over.  Whilst he was getting checked she went to find House. 

She found him in the darkness of his unlit office, bouncing a ball of the wall.

“House what are you doing?”

There was no reply.

“House, James is awake and the first thing you do is run?  Don’t repeat your past mistakes.  Go back in there and face him.  Tell him how you feel. “

“What if he doesn’t want to have anything to do with me anymore?”

“Stop thinking about yourself, risk getting hurt, because you know what House?  He is worth that risk.  What have you got to lose?”  With that she left House alone and returned to her son’s bedside.

It was a few hours later when the door to Wilson’s room slid open and House stepped inside. 

 “I’m so happy you are okay, sweetheart.  I love you.  I’ll be back in a while.” Wilson’s mum said, leaving the two men on their own.

Wilson was simply staring at House, his fists clenching at the bed covers to contain whatever emotions were going through him.

House stopped and looked down unable to take the hurt puppy dog eyes looking back at him.  He covered Wilson’s soft bruised hands with his own, and with his voice like gravel he whispered to Wilson.

“I’m truly sorry.  I nearly lost you because I was being a selfish, heartless, self- involved, twisted son of a bitch…..”

He looked up at Wilson.

“And?” Wilson asked.

“And…I ….I promise to do better.  Please…forgive me.”

Wilson removed his hands from under House’s and sighed.

The silence was unbearable.

He finally spoke, “I forgive you ….but we are not okay.  We will be…but I need time.  Please House.  Just give me some time.”

“Anything.  I’ll do anything you ask.” House told him before quietly leaving the room.

New Years Eve                                                                                                                                                                       

Every day over the past week House had kept his promise.  To an extent.  He gave Wilson the space he asked for.  He stayed away.  Or least he did during the day.  Whilst Wilson slept he sat by his bedside and quietly told him about his day, told him about the happenings on his favourite TV programs and each morning before he snuck back out of the room he would whisper to Wilson the same words.

“Sorry Jimmy.  I love you and will wait for you always.”

House kissed his hand in goodbye and left again, waiting for the next night to arrive so he could see him again.

House did not notice Wilson’s eyes open as he left the room, watching the limping man thoughtfully.

New Years Day

“It’s new years day today Jimmy.  A new year, a new beginning.  I have only one resolution.  To prove to you that I can be what you need to me to be.  You know I am hopeless with words.  Sentiment I am hopeless at which is why we are in this situation to begin with.  So I’ll tell you the only way I know how.  It’s like this Jimmy.  You remember when we watched Lost and I used to mercilessly mock the Penny/Desmond love story?  Because hell no one can love someone that much….but you know what?  I was wrong.  Someone can.  I do.  Please don't give up on me Wilson. Because all you really need to survive is one person who truly loves you. And you have him.  I will wait for you.  Always.  I Love you.”  House voice faltered as tears began to roll down his cheeks.  He looked up in surprise when he felt a hand against his cheek brushing away his tears.

“Has the world ended, am I suffering from hallucinations from my medication or did you really just quote Lost to woo me?” Wilson said with amusement.

House glanced up and saw a small smile gracing Wilson’s lips. He smiled in return.

“You are delusional.  Your brain is playing…..”

“House?” Wilson interrupted.

“Yeah?”

“Shut the hell up and kiss me.”

“My my…a little car crash and you turn into quite the demanding lover.  What next?  Handcuffs, whipped cream and cherries on top?  You know I….” House trailed of seeing a range of emotions flittering across Wilson’s face.  “Sorry.”

 “Greg….Don’t ever push me away again or I will leave you.  And it will be forever next time. Argue with me, be an ass, be yourself …..but just sometimes, let me know you love me, let me in.”  Wilson told him in a way that made sure he knew that he was deadly serious.

“I promise.” House replied in earnest.

“Now, I believe I told you to kiss me.  If you don’t want to however…..I am sure Dr Noahbridge could be more than happy to assist me.  He always seems to find an excuse to check out my rather fine ass,” Wilson teased him.

House leant forward until their foreheads touched. 

“I love you Jimmy.”

“I love you too Greg,” muttered Wilson as he leant forward to press his lips to that of his soul mate.

Later that evening

Hours later Cuddy stopped by to check on Wilson. 

She smiled when she was greeted by the sight of House wrapped warmly and tenderly in Wilson’s embrace. 

She laughed out loud when she saw they were both fast asleep…. and naked.

It seemed that Wilson was definitely on the road to recovery and that happily ever after did exist after all.

Comments

[lylaa.livejournal.com]

Very sweet fic. Well done. :)

[shadowb3e.livejournal.com]

In casts and the middle of the hospital. Go Wilson! Great story and I’m glad things worked out in the end.