house_wilson_ghc | Get Used to It Ch 8

At last I had time to post another chapter! There are probably only two more chapters left to this story, so they should be coming up soon. This chapter is un-beta'ed as a result of my eagerness to get it posted so all mistakes are my own. Concrit is appreciated as always and I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Get Used to It Ch 8

Pairings and Characters: Established H/W, the rest

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: House MD and related characters belong to David Shore and Fox, not me.

Summary: As a follow up to “Can’t I Have Both?” House and Wilson begin to date, only to realize how surreal it all seems. On top of that, the duo realizes how differently they have come to terms with their sexuality and therefore, how they differently they planned on treating their new relationship.

Wilson heard his door open with its typical creak, followed by a slight thud as the wood met the wall. He continued to scribble away at his file, ignoring the figure standing, shaken, in the doorway. Yet, as he heard the familiar pattern of a foot thudding against the carpet supported by a cane, he felt his stomach flutter as he raised his head to meet House’s eyes.

House had obviously not been waiting for a sign of approval to enter the office, as always was the case, as he immediately strode into the room upon opening the door. But besides the fact that House had entered the room in his typical manner, Wilson could sense that something was troubling House, which frightened him slightly. It took something either entirely puzzling and unsolvable or emotionally overwhelming for House to show any sign of being troubled. Wilson had always known House was an introverted person, rarely showing any emotion besides determination. On top of that instinct of dissecting human behavior, Wilson could feel his heart tremble slightly as he glanced at the entirely shaken look on House’s face: his eyes seemed glazed over, turning slightly grey as opposed to their usual fiery blue, and his complexion seemed bizarrely numb. Unlike the numerous incidences prior during which House had vented his frustration over seemingly impossible causes, the House which currently stood before Wilson seemed determined to remain silent, self-contemplative and uneasy. Above all, it was clear that this time, what was troubling House was something within himself.

Wilson sat, dumbfounded in his seat, lowering his pen slowly to the desk as he watched House walk over to the windows and gaze out into the cloudy sky. When it became clear that House was not going to open up the opportunity for conversation, Wilson furrowed his eyebrows as he asked softly, “What’s wrong, House?”

House looked down at the floor, shifting uncomfortably and continued to say nothing. Wilson felt himself rising slowly out of his seat and striding with concern in every step towards House. He stood behind House, slightly to his right, allowing his left hand to slide gently across House’s right shoulder, attempting to guide him away from the window. House made no obvious response to Wilson’s touch besides a slight shudder, which gave Wilson uneasy chills along his forearms.

Wilson then stepped forward, alongside House (noticing as he moved that House had been standing there without his cane), tracing his left hand along his shoulder, up his neck, finally stopping underneath House’s chin. He allowed his hand to pause there momentarily, taking in the comforting feeling of House’s skin against his fingertips, then pressing his fingers upwards into House’s chin, forcing him to raise his head and look Wilson in the eye.

House blinked uncharacteristically quickly, as if he felt awkward in his present situation. Wilson could only continue to stare back at House in order to calm him, give him comfort and allow House to finally speak.

At last, House’s eyes fell upon Wilson’s and their bond was reestablished, creating that familiar, comforting feeling which House’s earlier uneasiness and troubles had upset. But as House swallowed heavily, closing his eyes tightly as he took in a large breath of air, Wilson prepared himself for the worst...

“Amber...” House began, his voice barely reaching a whisper. His throat was dry, causing him to swallow once again before continuing, “stopped by while I was with my fellows.”

Wilson felt himself nodding stupidly only to show House that his ears were still functioning and that the words slowly spilling out of his mouth were in an intelligible language.

“She,” House continued, pausing between words as he struggled to tell Wilson this crucial information, “told them about you and me.”

It was Wilson’s turn to blink rapidly, struggling to understand what House had just stated. Despite himself, and everything he had come to believe about himself and his self-comfort over the past few days seemed to be crashing down around him. He felt a sense of humiliation, even embarrassment, rising shamefully within him. He wished more than anything that House was lying to him – that Amber hadn’t been that cruel... but as he continued to balance his overwhelming emotions, still processing House’s words and behavior, he began to understand.

Frustration arose in Wilson – he had honestly tried so hard to suppress his worst fears from the day he had touched House’s face with open love and compassion. He had pushed away his discomforts of being open about his relationship with House, and most importantly, he had suppressed the fact that he knew one day he and House would have to face society with a smile on their faces as they thrust the truth onto themselves and thereby, the rest of the world. But until now, he had never dreamed that House would be as shaken about this truth as he clearly was now, as he stood before Wilson. It even seemed surreal that House’s emotions could stretch that deep into his heart and allow himself to be moved to frustration and dramatic sadness as a result of Amber’s cruel behavior. But from this, Wilson knew his affections could only grow for House rather than shrink away, as it gave House more depth to his wonderful, complex character. It not only allowed House to grow as a person, but for Wilson to reach within himself, as well as towards House, for a foundation to stand on during this period of discovery.

If there was anything that Wilson felt he should learn from this shattering moment, it was simply that the time had come at last. He could attempt to deny the situation, his personal discomfort, along with the rest, but the fact remained that a new opportunity arose: the opportunity to take a step into reality. It was a harsh, disquieting awakening, but Wilson always knew that he would reach this turning point at one time or another. Now, what remained to be seen was whether or not House would be willing to push onwards. Clearly, House had gained a new form of understanding about the ways of the world, and Wilson could tell that it frightened him. It was something new to both of them, and Wilson knew that the only thing remaining for them was acceptance and most of all: each other.

Wilson opened his mouth to articulate his deep, motivational speech for House, but he instead felt his lips moving soundlessly, attempting to find something less cheesy to say. He sighed heavily, looking down at the floor in an awkward silence, fumbling for his words. After another minute, he finally formulated a simple sentence:

“I’m willing to continue if you are.”

Although simultaneously vague and brilliant, House obviously understood every syllable. He gave a small smile alongside a silent laugh, causing his body to shake slightly. Wilson felt himself breaking into an assuring smile, moving his left hand up to House’s cheek as he leaned in slightly to give House a comforting kiss. He felt House continue to shake as their lips met, and as he pulled away, House looked as though a bit of the life which usually flowed within him had been restored.

“How could you ever have found anything worth dating in that witch?” House finally spoke exasperatedly, beginning to enter an angry, venting rant. “Do you want to know what she told them?” he asked, backing away from Wilson as he nonchalantly plopped himself down on Wilson’s couch.

“Sure,” Wilson said nervously, shrugging slightly as he walked over to sit down next to House.

“She said, ‘I suppose you found it irrelevant to tell them they’re working for a gay man’. Not ‘man dating a man’ or any crap. Just, ‘gay’.”

“It stings, I’m guessing,” Wilson said, attempting to fuel House’s emotional drive.

“It shouldn’t,” House muttered, gazing intently at the floor.

“It shouldn’t have to be an issue,” Wilson said, reasoning about the big picture. “But if it wasn’t an issue, neither of us would be here in this melodramatic torment.”

“Dammit, I missed General Hospital,” House attempted to give the situation a sense of normality. Wilson couldn’t help but smirk despite himself.

“Well, the damage has been done,” Wilson said wisely, “so now, what’s left is to...” he scrambled for a word, “live it.”

“You mean live through it,” House corrected him.

“No, I mean live it. We’ve been sort of hiding the past few days.”

“You have,” House corrected him.

“Yes,” Wilson admitted slowly, “but up until now, you hadn’t realized that you weren’t living it either. You wanted to hide, too.”

House closed his eyes and let out a frustrated sigh. “No, I just didn’t want some selfish, insane woman charging in on a meeting and randomly announcing to the world that I’m dating you.”

Wilson felt a stinging sensation slightly flickering within his heart. “You’re not ashamed of me... are you?”

“Of course not,” House blew off Wilson’s self-conscious question. “But I don’t plan on going to any gay pride meetings any time soon.”

“Well, I guess we don’t have to take it that far,” Wilson reasoned, stifling a laugh. “But the point remains: I think it’s time we start... living.”

“‘Living’?” House repeated lamely.

“Y’know,” Wilson spoke awkwardly and nervously, “together.”

House smiled, turning his head in an uncomfortable sort of shrug, attempting to brush away Wilson’s suggestions.

“Look, whether you like it or not, we’ve been put in the limelight here,” Wilson reasoned, “we’ve been – for lack of a better word – ‘outed’. So why not actually live like a couple? What do we have to lose?”

“You’re acting like this is some sort of careless fling,” House said, “like you’re moving back in with me between wives.”

“House!” Wilson said exasperatedly. “I want to move in with you. I’ve reached that point you wanted me to be at days ago. I don’t care what Amber’s done – it’s probably for the better now.” Wilson had risen from his seat next to House and was excitedly pacing the floor of his office. He reached the opposite wall and turned around to face House.

“You hated the fact I was embarrassed. You taunted me about it, and once again, now that the opportunity is waving you in the face, you’re pushing it away.”

House looked silently at Wilson, still apparently at a crossroad of choices. Wilson knew he was going to have to beg. He exhaled briefly.

“Please. Don’t do this. You always push people away when they get too close. Don’t do it to me.... don’t do it to yourself. Amber’s turned you into this self-conscious form of House. The one time I’ve learned not to care, you suddenly see a perfectly good reason to care. I don’t understand it, House, and I want to.”

“The only reason,” House finally argued back, “that I lost it with that bitch was because I knew that she wasn’t out for me: she was out to get you. Instead she got two birds with one stone. Three, if you count my cane. The reason I didn’t deny anything, the reason I’m not standing here telling you it’s all over is because I care.” He gave a clear, strong emphasis on the last three words. Wilson turned his head slightly to one side, processing House’s words.

“I should know by now that with you, nothing really is as it seems: rage suddenly means caring.”

“As long as you understand that, the secrets to the world have been revealed.”

“I feel enlightened.”

“Good,” he said, a tone of finality in his voice, “maybe now you’ll realize that I’ve been waiting for you to move in for the past four days.”

"Even when society is closing in around you?" Wilson could not help but tease.

"Pffft," House smiled, "what's that got to do with anything?"

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Ch 7 (with links to all other chapters): http://community.livejournal.com/house_wilson/2262785.html#cutid1
Ch 9: http://community.livejournal.com/house_wilson/2273186.html#cutid1