Friday

[hughville.livejournal.com]

House: She had a secret diary.

Wilson: Is there any other kind?

House: What're you doing?

Wilson: There's a sale on Liquid Tide.

House: If you're broke, I can lend you a tiny bit of the money I owe you.

Wilson: No, no, I wouldn't put you in that position. What does the diary say?

House: It's basically a list of her sexual encounters. Boys, girls, vibrating appliances.

Wilson: If it was, you'd be quoting, not summarizing.



Wilson: [deep voice, into phone] Any attempt to contact the FBI or other law enforcement agencies, or… Cuddy, will be met with…

[House busts inside. Wilson quickly stops the saw and speaks normally into the mouthpiece.]

Wilson: [into phone] …and a large Coke. No ice.

[He hangs up.]

House: Give it back.

Wilson: [innocently] What happened?

[House throws his head up in annoyance.]

Wilson: [melodramatic] Did someone… kidnap your guitar?

[House starts to look around the place.]

Wilson: Your twelve-thousand-dollar 1967 Flying V? Or something?

House: Where'd you hide it?

[Wilson holds up the newspaper to read it.]

Wilson: I am flattered you would consider me this bold and brilliant.

House: Yeah, it takes a cr…

[He stops, seeing pieces missing from Wilson's newspaper.]

House: It takes a criminal mastermind to pull off a heist from an unlocked, unguarded room down the hall. What do you want?

Wilson: [bright-eyed] Me? Nothing. But I'm sure the kidnapper wants what every kidnapper wants. To see you interview five to seven well-qualified fellowship candidates.

House: [stubborn] I don't need a team.

Wilson: You were bouncing ideas off a janitor.

House: [victorious] And solved the case!



House: [into phone] Did you ever see "Raid on Entebbe"?

Wilson: [into phone] Yeah, in the end, they released the hostages. How's that working for you?

House: [into phone] The Ugandans played fair. They didn't move the hostages on the Israelis.

Wilson: [into phone] Once again, I am in awe of the kidnapper's tactical brilliance.

[House switches on Wilson's TiVo.]

House: [into phone] What is "El Fuego Del Amor" and why do you need ten of them?

Wilson: [into phone, nervous] It's a Telenovela. I'm learning Spanish.

House: [into phone] Say adios.

Wilson: [into phone, panicked] Are you erasing my TiVo? [pleading] House, not the season finale!

House: [into phone, Bronson-like] I don't negotiate with terrorists. I smoke them out of their hidey-holes.

[Pretty safe to assume, as House fiddles with the remote, Wilson will have to hope and wait for reruns.]

Wilson: [into phone] Do you know what terrorists do when you don't negotiate? [threatening] They terrorize.

House: [into phone, challenging] Bring. It. On.



Wilson: [in mock-disgust] Oh… my… God.

[He throws the arm back into the box, repulsed, and pushes the box away.]

Wilson: This guy means business. Or guys. Could be, could be multiple… Could be multiple guys. Or a gal. Who knows? All I can say is, this reeks of boldness.

House: [staring him down] I am not hiring a team.

[He starts to walk outside.]

Wilson: You ever tighten a guitar string really, really slowly?

[House stops at the door.

Wilson: Past the point it can handle the strain? It makes this weird… sound.

[House stares daggers at Wilson.]

Wilson: Almost like a scream.

[Wilson starts making low guttural sounds, like nails on a chalkboard. House storms off.]

Alone, S4

Comments

[hughville.livejournal.com]

I always figured he'd gotten the part from somewhere else.

Me, too.